“If I Give You a Straw, Will You Suck the Fun Out of Someone Else’s Day?” Can Cooler — Cold Drink, Colder Shade

Keep your drink cold and your sarcasm colder.
This isn’t just a can cooler — it’s a whole mood with neoprene walls.

Whether you’re dodging awkward convos at the BBQ or just trying to enjoy your seltzer in peace, the DSM5TR “If I Give You a Straw…” koozie says what you’re thinking — so you don’t have to.

🧊 Insulated neoprene or foam — keeps cans cold and hands dry
💬 Bold quote design — high-impact sarcasm that sticks
🍻 Fits standard 12oz cans — beers, sodas, and sparkling water all welcome
🔥 Fade-resistant print — no flaking, peeling, or dull comebacks
🖤 Lightweight, foldable, attitude-friendly
🇺🇸 Designed in the USA — because sarcasm is an American pastime

Perfect for:

BBQs, tailgates, beach days, and backyard passive-aggression

Gifting to your favorite smartass

Keeping your drink cold while your patience stays on thin ice

This koozie doesn’t just cool — it claps back.

DSM5TR — Hydration meets humiliation (for them, not you).

Add a personal touch to your sipping sessions! This dual-side can cooler comes in two sizes to fit your regular and slim cans. Crafted from high-grade synthetic rubber, it keeps your drinks cool and your hands warm.

• Made from neoprene
• Waterproof
• Dual-size customization
• Ribbed seams
• Regular 5″ × 4″ (12 × 10 cm), or slim 6.5″ × 3.2″ (17 × 8 cm)
• Spot clean as needed
• Blank product sourced from China and printed in the US

This product is made on demand. No minimums.